"Bad Weather Words", we've all used them...
Other professions have jargon like deplane, contusion, laceration, combustion, disembark, alleged perpetrator, but weather has its share. A good weather presenter wants to avoid bad weather words and...
MISUSE = Lack of understanding of concept, or just speaking the way others speak without thinking.
JARGON = Forgetting audience level of understanding or trying to impress the audience or your boss.
VAGUENESS = As solid as a cirrus cloud, as clear as OVC F BS VIS1/10, as straight as an Omega Block, and as understandable as the Equations of Motion
VERBOSITY = Inability or unwillingness to express a thought with a minimum number of words in a succinct sentence or sentences due to a lifelong pattern of attempting to extend, modify, or otherwise increase the amount of data that flows from your brain through your mouth in efforts to avoid using punctuation that signals the end of a thought while simultaneously reducing the amount of data stored on one’s brain which is an inability or unwillingness to express a thought with a minimum number of words...
CLICHÉ = It’s beginning to look a lot like... everybody talks about the weather, so please don’t steal my thunder, while raindrops keep falling on my head, during the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer, otherwise Jack Frost and Old Man Winter won’t show me the money.
Keep your forecasts down to Earth. Stay out of the ego-sphere. There's no law that says don't use these words, just think about what you are really saying or how people might misinterpret them. If you want another laugh, or maybe your first laugh, check out Just Another Weathercast.
| MISUSE |
RESPONSE |
| cold air pushing in |
what is it pushing? |
| trough lifts |
lifting what? |
| risk of showers |
a risk implies danger |
| moving se to ne |
that would be moving north |
| better chance of |
can there be a worse chance? |
| fog lifting |
what is the fog lifting? |
| the weather is supposed to
be |
according to whom? |
| normally, the high is |
is that really statistics? |
| twice as cold |
twice as cold as what? |
| hot temperatures |
that's simply hot air |
|
| JARGON |
RESPONSE |
| arrived on schedule |
who scheduled it? |
| few and far between |
between what? |
| the brunt of the storm |
what is a brunt? |
| gathering steam |
sounds like a fogged mirror |
| raining to beat the band |
who made this up? |
| century mark |
that would be in Century, Florida |
| acre |
who really knows how big this is? |
| kilometer |
not in the U.S. |
| gradient |
you surely must mean slope |
| normal |
are you normal? |
| precipitation |
well, what kind is it? |
| cell |
only prisoners get this one |
| bomb |
nobody wants to hear that |
| rain on your parade |
now, that's clever |
| backside |
you sit on that |
| entrainment |
they serve mints in trains? |
| deep moisture |
swimming pool |
| nautical miles |
mariners delight |
| statute miles |
is that under a state law? |
| in the next 36 to 48 hours |
who talks like that? |
| embedded thunderstorms |
sounds like a battle |
| high builds in |
building into what? |
| tornadic thunderstorm |
...from Tornadoville? |
| departure from normal |
the bus departs Normal at 12:15 |
| clouds are organizing |
unions work for the common man |
| radar returns |
please have your receipt ready |
| radar echoes |
can you hear that... can you hear that |
| satellite imagery |
imagery or image or just satellite |
| a better chance for storms |
what's better about a storm? |
| water vapor loop |
play Misty again |
| visible satellite |
at night it's invisible |
| excessive rainfall |
that's a lot |
| in effect |
I knew a guy who lived in Effect |
| at the surface |
where else? |
| moisture field |
swamp |
| moisture tongue |
that's almost x-rated |
| severe shower |
huh? |
| high profile vehicle |
Lamborghini or Winnebago? |
| inches of mercury |
or millimeters |
| high and dry |
kick the habit |
| high pressure doming down |
how can you dome down? |
| return flow |
call a plumber |
| exercise caution |
take caution to the gym |
| streamline |
everyone line up at the stream |
| piece of energy |
that is x-rated |
| diurnal |
use this daily |
| stall out |
stall out, stall in, stall on, just
stall |
|
| VAGUENESS |
RESPONSE |
| weather is expected |
by whom? |
| threat level is upgraded |
is a higher threat an upgrade? |
|
| CLICHÉ |
RESPONSE |
| wet, wacky, and wild |
clouds gone wild |
| thunderstorm activity |
sounds like a party |
| the barometer is falling |
catch it |
| temperature department |
isn't that near men's apparel? |
| rain event |
is it free to the public? |
| if you liked today |
what if you didn't? |
| if you don't like the
weather just wait |
and then you'll hate it |
| what a difference a day
makes |
name that tune |
| garden variety |
what do you grow in your garden? |
| packing a punch |
make sure it doesn't leak out |
| locally heavy |
try diet and exercise |
| chunk of real estate |
is this phrase your property? |
| for the most part |
51% |
| picture perfect |
don't blur the lines |
| fly in the ointment |
scary buzz |
| trail of terror |
opening Friday at a theater near you |
| death and destruction |
Armageddon |
| snapped like toothpicks |
who actually snaps toothpicks? |
| residents are picking up
the pieces |
let there be pieces on Earth |
| tossed like toys |
someone needs a spanking |
| sounded like a freight
train |
yes, I do live by the train tracks |
| the old one-two punch |
why not the old rope-a-dope? |
| getting hammered |
friends don't let friends drive drunk |
| impressive storms |
they've worked hard on presentation |
| wall to wall |
that's carpeting the issue |
| keep your umbrella handy |
who says that? |
| hit or miss |
is there any other option? |
| under the gun |
that's better than being in front |
| adding fuel to the fire |
must be a hot topic |
| neck of the woods |
where's the head of the woods? |
| double whammy |
what's a whammy? |
|
| REDUNDANCY |
RESPONSE |
| a new record set |
all new records are set |
| barometric pressure |
that's like thermometric temperature |
| a short period of time |
delete "period of" |
| frontal boundary |
what's the definition of a front? |
| in the next five days
ahead |
next = ahead |
| tornado on the ground |
where else would it be? |
| dangerous lightning |
as compared to safe lightning? |
| the weather outside |
all weather is outside |
| the clouds in the sky |
that's where they should be |
| completely demolished |
demolished is total and complete |
| reached new milestone |
all milestones are new |
| submerged underwater |
submerged = under water |
| close proximity |
proximity = degree of closeness |
| safe haven |
haven = place of safety |
| heavy downpour |
is there a light downpour? |
| the sky above |
where else could it be? |
| currently right now |
currently = right now |
| moving on off |
delete on and/or off for same result |
| cool down |
what other direction can you cool? |
| warm up |
you surely can't warm down |
|
| FILLER |
|
| neither her nor there |
sounds like neverland |
| six and one half dozen of
the other |
that doesn't add up |
| if we could just bottle it
up |
who would ship it? |
| just doesn't get any
better |
so it's as good as it gets? |
| as good as it gets, folks |
so it just doesn't get any better? |
| yet and still |
sounds like a folk band |
| part and parcel |
take that and ship it |
| as I said |
who said that? |
| before all is said and
done |
In the beginning... |
| by far and large |
it's a long way from here |
| as you can see |
Can everyone see? |
| there's not much going on |
then stop talking! |
| so to speak |
you are speaking |
|
This list is intended for fun and for the betterment of weather presentations. It may not be re-posted or redistributed without consent of copyright holder, but you may freely link to it. Alan Sealls
